Soulparking

Monday, 1 May 2006

Faith was offered a new job with Fresh! Casting agency.  But she was torn because she had a fantastic job with AC Nielson.  But the money being offered by Fresh! Helped her make ends meet finally.  So she took a week off from AC Nielson to try out the job at Fresh!

Fresh! Offered free photo shoots for upcoming and wanna be actresses and models.  I have learned very quickly in Cape Town or in South Africa in general – that nothing in South Africa is for free.

The first couple of days were okay.  She was hired because the whole previous staff of women had all quit together.  I told Faith that was the first clue that something was amiss. 

Then one day, the boss asked her to show him her breasts.  I don’t know the context.  Or how she was asked or why she was asked.   But Faith refused.  He seemed upset and also said something of the fact that she wouldn’t get very far in the organization.

But the next story might fill in the blanks. 

Faith explained that one day a girl came in looking for a job.  The boss came down and asked for her to come upstairs for an interview.  About an hour, the girl quickly left and never came back.

Faith asked one of the girls who was working there what had happened to the girl looking for a job.  She explained that the boss had fucked her and paid her R100.

Faith quit and returned back to AC Nielson.

For this ejournal, I have done multiple searches for Fresh! Casting agency and returned nothing.  Its like the casting agency doesn’t really exist.  Faith explained that the building that it currently is in – wants him out of there because he is not even paying rent.

So Jasmin is now following her heart to get into the makeup and special effects job in the film and commercial industry here in Cape Town.  She is like a hound dog sniffing for any lead or any opportunity that will lead her to doing what she loves to do.   So when I heard the commercial on the radio and Faith read the newspaper add that Bobbi Brown was looking for promotional models – we contacted Jasmin right away.  We emailed the email address and got the details.  Bobbi Brown was doing a casting call on Saturday at 4 PM across from the Virgin Active gym.  Jasmin sent a second email to give her details, some photos, and her website address – to let them know that she was serious. 

She was very excited before she left for the casting call and she dropped me off at my usual place – Seattle Coffee Company – and off she went.  Hours later – she picked me up and didn’t say much about the casting call.  Faith who went with her also said very little about it. 

“So did you get the job?” I asked.

Jasmin was slow about answering, “I am not going to take it.”

“Why?”  I was confused – this job as it was described was the exact job she wanted.

“Don’t worry about it.” Jasmin snapped. And that was that. 

It wasn’t until two days later that she accidentally let something slip.  “Bobbi Brown was a guy’s name not the name of the makeup company.  He used his name to fool all the girls who showed up to think he worked for the makeup company.”  Jasmin went deathly quiet.

“Is that why you didn’t take the job?”

“The guy asked me to show him my breasts.”

“Huh?  What does showing your breasts have anything to do with promotions?”  My anger was moving from yellow to red.

“He said that in the promotional field that you have to change in front of each other so you cant be timid.  You have to be able to get naked in front of anyone.”

“Was it in a room of other people?” I asked – barely controlling my rage.

“No.  It was just him in a room with the door closed.”

“What did you do?” 

“I told him – `sorry I won’t do that.’  He said that `I didn’t have the job.’  I talked to the other girls.  The girls who auditioned together weren’t asked that question.  I met two other girls who came alone – he asked them too.”

“What?!  That bastard!”

Jasmin was quiet for a moment.  “Actually he didn’t ask to see my breasts.  He asked me to get completely naked.” 

“Fucker.”  I mumbled.

So in South Africa, the month of April has the most holidays in it.  Most South Africans try to take the whole month of April off.  So on Thursday we met up some friends at Camps Bay for drinks.  The rumors hit us as we were having our third round that Leonardo DiCaprio was upstairs in the club Ignite.  All the girls went a buzz. 

I made a joke, “Whatever you do, don’t do this to him,” I flung out my arms like I was on the tip of the Titantic looking over the ocean, “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”  I got a couple of laughs. 

So we finished up and being that Gabby knew everybody in Ignite we went through the Q to the front and got to go VIP.  After we got in VIP – which normally Jasmin and I hate being in VIP because its pretentious, stuck up, and no one really dances.  I went to the gents / bathroom.  When I got back I couldn’t find Jasmin.  One of the girls we were with motioned for me to come down to her sitting to yell something in my ear.

“She and Faith are talking to that guy from 24.”

“Huh? 24?  What do you mean?”

“That black guy from 24.  I think he is President or something.”

24 is one of my favorite TiVo shows.  My father records every episode for me for when we return to the USA for the holidays.  “You mean President Palmer?” 

She nodded.  And just at that time, Jasmin tugged on my hand.  “Hey!  President Palmer is here.  I want you to take a picture of me and him.”

So I went up to Dennis Haysbert the actor who plays President Palmer, and I shook his hand.  “Love your character.  Its a shame he was killed on the show.  But welcome to South Africa!”  Man, Dennis looked almost identically to my former roommate in Boca Raton, Florida – Corey.  I took my Nokia N90 and snapped it.  Dennis then asked Jasmin what we were doing the rest of the weekend.  He gave us his phone number and Jasmin gave him hers.

Leonardo DiCaprio had left a little earlier but one of the waitresses said he wasn’t there at all.  So I am not sure who had started that rumor.

The next night I was exhausted.  I wanted to stay in.  I am not one to party every night.  I am getting old (32) – so I like to linger at home now more than I used to.  And actually thats more fun than dancing to my muscles ache and I am puking my guts out.  So Jasmin and Faith were going out to a place around the corner from my flat.

Just as they were leaving, they got a phone call from an anonymous number.  It was Dennis.  He was asking where they were going.  Jasmin told them they were going to Chrome – a new club off of Loop Street.

“Cool, I will meet you there.”

And sure enough around midnight, Dennis and some of his friends showed up.  But they were escorted immediately to VIP.  Because its a new club, Jasmin and Faith didn’t have VIP permissions yet.  So Dennis came up from downstairs VIP looking for Jasmin. 

“Why aren’t you in VIP?”  Dennis asked.

“The bastard guards wont let me down.” 

So Dennis, Jasmin, and Faith danced.  Across the dance floor, walked a man that Jasmin recognized only until the last moment, Joseph Fiennes.  She stuck out her finger to poke him.  He turned around and smiled and walked on.  During the breaks, Dennis explained to Jasmin he was in town filming a movie – from now until June.  But after awhile, Dennis repeated over and over that the club was boring. 

“You wanna go back to my hotel room?”  he asked point blank to Jasmin.

Jasmin recoiled.  “What?  I have a boyfriend.  You met him yesterday.  And besides, I don’t fuck black men.” 

Either because the club was boring or his pride hurt, Dennis left.

Jasmin and Faith came immediately back to the flat to tell me what happened. 

The United Nations just put out a report that Human Trafficking is the biggest problem ravaging the world.  No country is immune.  One of the biggest violators is the United States.  And the number one reason for human trafficking is sexually related. 

Sexual exploitation in all its forms – disgusts me.  Let me ask a fundamental question.  How could sex with an unwanting partner be fun?  How is this pleasurable?  Isn’t the beauty of sex – because its a dance of give or take?  I am the pleaser and she is the pleasured?  And then the next time – vice versa?

Exploitation means two things to me: meat and power.  That you are below me.  That you are forced to pleasure me.  What drives me insane is when we are out at a club and a drunk guy looks at either Faith, Jasmin or one of their friends like they are chicken to be plucked from the bone.  God, I go nuts. 

When we were Ignite, there was a coloured guy that kept grabbing Jasmin by the arm and pulling him to her.  I grabbed his arm and yanked him to me. 

“What you doing brother?  Would you do that to your sister?  Your mother?”

He seemed to not understand.  He did it again.  I seized him and pulled him close so that my yelled words would put spit on his face.  “Did you hear me?  Leave her alone.  She is not meat.”

“Hey man!  I am not from this country.  I am Cuban.  I don’t know your ways here in this country.”

“Hey dude, I am not from this country either.  But I know how to respect a woman.  Would you do that your Madre?  Or your Abuela?” 

He got angry then but quickly the bouncer came up behind me and whispered.  “I got it man.”  And he escorted the guy away.

Now I could talk about how the first television Black president was a bastard in real life.  But was Dennis exploiting Jasmin?  No, he is divorced and available.  Jasmin is in a relationship although she is not married.  So he asked if she was willing – and she said no.  And that’s it.

I told Jasmin that maybe it was a test.  Maybe he wanted to see her boundaries.  That if she had said something funny or witty declining his offer, maybe he would have started taking her seriously about her acting / modeling / make up career. 

Jasmin shook her head.  “No, he just wanted in my pants.” 

When you are a big, Hollywood actor –  there are no boundaries I suppose.  The whole world bows before you.  Relationships, loyalty, and boundaries get thrown away.  Some women would have jumped at the chance to go to Dennis’ hotel room.  Hell, I told Jasmin that if Joseph Fiennes would have asked her – I told her to do it jokingly – because he is one of my favorite actors. 

Jasmin is also the same woman who was cast to be in “Lord of War” with Nicholas Cage – she forfeited and stayed at home with me to nurse me after my appendix surgery.  I told her to screw me – and hook up with Nicholas Cage!  Or either Ethan Hawke who was also in the movie. 

So that night after the Chrome incident, when Jasmin fell asleep in my arms, a bit drunk, exhausted, and snoring, I realized that I do not want to be famous.  I am cool with boundaries.  I love loyalty.  I love nurturing and believing in someone – believing in others – as long as they believe back.  As the famous line in Swingers where Vince Vaughn says about Jon Favreau “He is the man behind the man.”

I want to be the man behind the man (or woman).

And thats not just not meaning, power.  But it also means the core of a man.  What makes a man tick?  What is his beliefs?  What is his goals?  His purpose in life? Is it just about getting what they can get?  

One of the most amazing facts you learn about Robben Island (the island prison that Mandela lived on for 27 years during the apartheid government) is that the tours of the prison are giving by the inmates who still live there with their families and the prison guards – who ALSO live there.  The prisoners and the guards grew to be family in the time that they were thrown together on Robben Island.  The lines between being a prisoner and being the guard skewed.

Dennis Haysbert and Joseph Fiennes are here in South Africa to film a movie about this friendship between Mandela and his prison guard.  Regardless of what happened between Jasmin and Dennis, I will be one of the first people at the movie theater buying a ticket. 

But its time in the world, where the power boundaries between prisoners and guards are destroyed.  Friendships and respect should be the glue that brings us together.  Time that women just because they are beautiful should not be trapped to others sexual desires and/or exploits.  And if the United Nations are serious about stopping human trafficking, it starts with the individual.  The man behind the man.  Do you treat women like your sister?  Do you hang out with men you would be proud to call your brother?  If you get off on wanting to control another person, the first person you should control is yourself.